Updated: May 13th, 2026
- Close relationships have an impact on your health – including your weight!
- Habits, routines, motivation and stress are all ways in which relationships can affect weight.
- Relationships can also have a positive impact on weight – when you are intentional about the things you do together.
- Shared goals, plans, and healthy activities go a long way toward building a healthier lifestyle.
I’ve known many married women who use “we” constantly; Rosa took it to a whole new level.
“We were feeling really sluggish in the spring, and we put on some weight,” she was saying, “but in July, we dropped about 10 pounds and really got our energy back.”
While this made me chuckle, I wasn’t actually all that surprised. Romantic partners, family members, and friends can influence your health– and weight loss– in more ways than you might think.
The power of relationships and the people closest to you on your physical health can be positive, negative, or a bit of both. And understanding it makes all the difference.
In this article, I’ll take you through everything you need to know about how your relationships can impact your weight loss efforts, and how you can use these connections to your advantage.
How different relationships affect weight loss
Many people assume that relationships with a romantic partner have the most power when it comes to affecting their health, but that isn’t always the case.
Most of us have several important relationships in our lives, from immediate family and spouses to friends and coworkers.
One interesting study found that a person’s chance of being obese increases by 37% if their spouse is obese– and by 57% if a close friend is. For siblings, the likelihood was 40%.
Why might the relationship be stronger between a friend’s weight and your own as compared to the relationship between your spouse’s weight and your own?
An additional finding from the same study may help to explain this: the effect was greater for both friends and siblings when they were the same sex.
This makes sense when you think about how often we compare ourselves (whether consciously or not) to people who look more like we do. I definitely know some women who have found extra motivation to clean up their diets after going out with female friends who had recently lost weight!
On the other hand, other research has suggested that relationships with romantic partners are most impactful when it comes to weight losses and gains.
The reality is, regardless of the nature of the significant relationships, it’s likely to have some impact on your health and your weight. So, as you read on, keep in mind that the patterns and connections we’re talking about may apply in different ways to different people in your life.
6 Ways Your Relationships Can Impact Your Weight Loss
Your relationships may be affecting your weight loss and health goals in more ways than one. Here are some of the most common (and sometimes surprising) ways in which your spouse, friends, family members, and even coworkers may be playing a role.
#1. You have shared habits, patterns, or routines.
If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for a long time, chances are you have a rhythm and a routine. Maybe you and your partner are in the habit of ordering a pizza whenever a new episode of your favorite TV show comes out, or you’ve been enjoying dessert together at the end of your meals for so long that you don’t even think about it anymore.
I think this is one of the reasons why I see so many women lose weight shortly after getting out of relationships. But don’t worry, I’m not suggesting that you leave your partner in order to reach your goals! The truth is that it can be hard to shake up your routine or change your habits when they’re so intertwined with someone else’s.
The same thing can happen with friends and family members, or anyone who you spend a lot of time with. But the good news is that habits can always be changed, especially once you identify them– and you always have the opportunity to create new, healthier ones together.
#2. You share the same fridge (and who’s cooking two meals?)
One of the biggest challenges I hear from women who have started new diets or healthy eating plans is that their spouse and/or their kids don’t want or need to eat the same way.
This can make meal planning and preparation more complicated, time consuming, and stressful– and it can also get expensive to shop for two (or more) different eating styles.
It’s common (and completely understandable), especially if you’re the one doing the bulk of the cooking, to end up compromising your own eating goals a bit in order to save time, money, and/or stress.
#3. You’re influenced by what you observe.
Whether you realize it or not, everyone is influenced by what the people closest to them do. Of course, this has the power to be either positive or negative, depending on how healthy our loved ones’ lifestyles are!
Research has found that if one person starts to exercise more or eat a healthier diet, the people closest to them are more likely to start doing the same.
To quote from one study on partner influence in lifestyle habits, “adoption of exercise or diet modifications in one individual is likely to spread to others, creating a social environment characterized by mutual reinforcement of healthy behavior”.
#4. You motivate each other (or you don’t).
Beyond being influenced by what we see our partners and friends doing, the people closest to us have the power to help keep us motivated by encouraging us– or to (usually unintentionally) do the opposite.
A partner who cheers you on, tells you you’re making progress, and even gently nudges you forward when your own motivation is waning, can be extremely helpful when you’re working on improving your health.
On the other hand, a close friend or spouse who frequently says things like “oh, don’t worry about it, you should treat yourself” may have the opposite effect. Their intentions are good, and you should certainly enjoy a treat every now and then, but it can be tough to stay on track when someone is encouraging you to indulge. If this is a constant pattern, not an occasional thing, it’s time to consider how it’s impacting you.
#5. Your microbiome may become more like your partner’s.
Yes, you read that right. While still in its early stages, some research has found that if you live with your partner, your skin microbiome may start to resemble theirs.
In fact, in the study linked above, a computer algorithm could actually identify couples who lived together with 86% accuracy, just based on the makeup of bacteria living on their skin!
The same may be true for your gut microbiome: a 2019 study found that married couples– and in particular those who described their relationships as being very close– had more similar gut microbiomes than did siblings.
#6. Your relationship is causing you stress.
Emotional stress can significantly impact weight loss efforts and health in a number of ways, including impairing your adrenal function or disrupting your hormonal balance.
If you’re struggling to lose weight even though you’re eating a healthy diet and exercising, stress is an important place to look– and relationships are one of the most common causes of excess stress.
Remember that any of your relationships– whether with a partner, a friend, a family member, or even a boss– can affect your health in this way.
How to harness the power of relationships for healthy weight loss
Just about all of the connections between relationships and weight or health can work for or against you. Here are a few ways you can use the power of your relationships to help you along your weight loss journey!
- Spend time with people who share your goals. I’m definitely not suggesting that you replace your entire friend group just because they don’t have the same health goals. But if you do find that your current circle struggles to relate to what you’re going through, consider reaching out to someone who you know is more on the same path as you, or even looking for local meetup groups centered around fitness or healthy lifestyle activities.
- Suggest a new (healthy) activity or restaurant. If you’re in the habit of spending all of your time with friends at the bar, or going to a neighborhood restaurant that specializes in fried food with your spouse, it might be worth shaking it up and suggesting something more aligned with your goals. You may find that your loved ones have been wanting to live healthier, too!
- Practice mindful eating. Now that you know how much your partner’s habits, words, and attitudes can influence your eating habits, make a practice out of stopping to consider whether you’re eating something because it’s what you want to do, or whether one of these other factors may be at play.
- Talk about it. The people in your life may have no idea how they’re affecting your progress, or what they can do to help. Have an honest and open conversation with the people in your life, and let them know how they can support you.
- Make a plan together. If you and your partner have different eating styles or diets, there are plenty of ways to make it work, with a little bit of planning and creativity. Sit down together and work on a meal plan for the week that allows for easy substitutions and meets both of your goals.
Final thoughts on relationships and weight loss
Sticking to a healthy diet and exercise plan can be challenging plan when the people closest to you aren’t paying as much attention to their health, or don’t seem to understand why it’s important to you.
But it’s still completely possible to achieve your goals, and it all starts with understanding exactly how these relationships can impact your efforts, and what to do about it.
And remember, if you share health goals with someone in your life, you can reach those goals together – just like Rosa did with her spouse!
